There's not 50 Shades of Gray. Only 1.

I want to preface what I am about to say with this little fact. I've not read the book 50 Shades of Grey and I have no plans to see the movie. So I have limited knowledge about the content of the book or what the movie will contain. That being said I've read enough about the book and movie to understand the gist of what the story entails. With that in mind, let's get started!
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Misty and I were talking a few nights ago after seeing the trailer for 50 Shades of Grey on TV. She said she was going to see the movie and wanted to know what I thought. I told her I didn't think it was a movie she would want to see but she needed to read reviews and then decide for herself if it was a movie she ought to see. I told her I could no more tell her not to see the movie than I could tell her to wash my clothes or cook my supper. But see my wife has a twisted sense of humor in the fact that she likes to make comments from time to time to see what kind of rise she can get out of me. You'd think after nearly 13 years of marriage I'd be able to spot these set ups but I can't. She's good at them. She made a comment that endeared her to me all the more after she didn't get quite the rise she expected from me. She basically said she didn't need to see that movie because she respected me as her husband and because of what I mean to her. To me that comment showed me that she wants to avoid one big gray area by skipping 50 Shades of Grey.

Now this post isn't about guilt tripping a person into not seeing 50 Shades of Grey. It's not about saying you don't respect your spouse if you do see it. What I want is for a person to read this post and consider whether they should see 50 Shades of Grey or similar movies. I will be honest with you I have watched movies and witnessed scenes that I had no business watching. Those images are scenes that cannot be unseen. Misty and I watched a movie a few weeks ago that surprised us with scenes that caught us off guard. Unfortunately Hollywood believes that what sells a movie is sex and foul language. It's almost unavoidable when you watch a movie nowadays. But what about movies that blatantly push a distorted view of sex, much less God's intentions for sex. When it comes to a movie like this you have to ask, "What is the reason for going to see 50 Shades of Grey?" Some will say because they read the book or because their friends are going to see it. Some will say they are taking their spouse to see it so its okay. In the end it's not about the justification we give for seeing the movie. It's about what viewing the movie does to us. 

Most will say they can compartmentalize the movie from their normal way of thinking but you really can't. What we take in affects our view of the world around us. In the end we are led towards a place of compromise when we watch a movie that blatantly distorts and perverts something that God created as good. We find ourselves in a gray area between upholding the purity of mind that God expects from us and the obvious acceptance of sin as being okay. The catch is that Satan doesn't have to get you to the dark side. He just needs to get you into the gray area. When he does that you've already lost. 

So the real question to ask is what is the benefit of watching 50 Shades of Grey? How does it benefit you as a person (or even as a Christian)? How does it benefit your marriage? The truthful answer is it won't benefit anything. You as a believer will only have watched something that will tear at the holiness God intends for you to pursue. As for your marriage, it won't help anything there either. Just ask yourself honestly whether you should see the movie and I think the answer will be pretty clear. 

I'll close with this. I'm sure some read this wanting to hear me tell them why they can't go see this movie. I can no more tell you not to see this movie than I can tell you that you have to read this blog. In the end the decision is yours, not mine. I just want you to consider whether you should see it or not. If you expected to read a post full of Bible verses condemning 50 Shades of Grey and other movies with pornographic images in it then you've read the wrong post. Although I don't think anyone would necessarily need it but if you want some verses that will help you decide whether you should watch it or not, here are a few to consider.

Job 31:1 - It's up to us what we choose to look at.
1 Corinthians 10:23 - Just because it's available to watch doesn't mean it benefits us.
1 Peter 1:15-16 - We are to pursue holiness in all we do.
Psalm 51:10 - Do you desire the purity of heart that God desires for you?


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Experiencing God's Faithfulness to Provide

Sunday afternoon was interesting to say the least. While traveling down I-40 hauling calves to the stockyard to be sold we lost 5th gear in the truck we were driving. When hauling a livestock trailer people are generally understanding of you traveling at or below the speed limit. So we went down the interstate in 4th gear about 5 miles under the speed limit. On the way home we made it almost to Hickory when it seemed like we lost the rest of the transmission. We coasted for about 3/4 of a mile in the breakdown lane before I was able to get the transmission to finally cooperate again. In the end we were able to get the truck, trailer, and passengers back safely to Granite Falls. But not without the transmission sounding like the bottom was falling out of it. Needless to say it made for an interesting story to share at church on Sunday night. 

While teaching that night about God's faithfulness to provide I referenced this story. I shared how we barely made it back and had just enough left in the transmission to get home. But then I shared about how God doesn't operate like this when it comes to His provision. When God provides for us it's because of His faithfulness. He is faithful to provide for us because of His love and goodness that He wants to share with us. So you can rest in the fact that God will be faithful to provide what you need, but not necessarily what you want. God also has more than enough resources to provide us with anything we need according to His will. As I mentioned last night, we so often ask for "just enough" to get by with. We'll bargain with God saying "if you'll give me just enough of" something then we'll be satisfied with it. But we ought to ask God to provide us with all that His will requires that we need. We don't need more than that. We don't need less than that. But God has endless resources at His command and will meet our needs according to His will and according to His faithfulness.

The next time you need God to provide for you change your perspective from asking for "just enough" to instead asking for what God's will says you need. You might be surprised at "just" what God will do.


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Why not to distract your kids in worship.

One Sunday night I was watching TV with my family after church and received a message via Facebook Messenger. A young man in our church sent me a message saying he had heard in the service on Sunday about how I had helped people in need through the NC Baptist Men and jokingly said he needed my help rebuilding a house that burnt down on Minecraft. At first I thought it was funny that he sent me the message but then I started thinking about how much he must have picked up during the service. Our service focused on the mission efforts of the NC Baptist Men and included disaster relief and other areas of ministry. Here this young guy picked up on what was said during the service and many times we discount what kids will learn from worship at church.

Parenting kids at church is different today than it was 10 years ago much less 25 years ago. In today's society we tend to think that children won't understand what the pastor is talking about or it's not on their level. But before you give the kid your phone, tablet, or something else to distract them lets think about what we're doing here. We are telling our kids that the songs we're singing or the pastors message doesn't apply to them so they don't need to pay attention to it. It's important that from an early age we start training our kids to participate in worship. Like discipline, routines, and respect, if church participation isn't taught early it won't be picked up later. I can't tell you the number of times I've watched as children, who weren't taught to participate in church as young children, don't know how to act or participate in worship as teenagers and eventually lose interest in church altogether. Many don't make it much past the start of jobs, cars, and dating.

My desire is for the generation that is dying out in our churches to not be the last great Christian generation. I believe that there is hope for the church and I believe that the gospel message of the church is the only hope for the world. But we have to train our children to worship God and participate in corporate worship, whether that is children's church or regular worship. I'm not under some delusion that my own young boys understand and retain every part of my message any more than I believe that every adult retains it. But just like I don't remember the menu from every meal my wife has fed me over the years, I know that without them I would have died a long time ago. If we want to sustain the spiritual life of our children far into the future we need to feed them with a regular diet of worship.


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I've Got You Covered!

On the mission trips I've led in the past we ate good, I mean really good! We had a dedicated crew of cooks that did a great job of keeping us well fed so we could work hard completing the tasks God had put in front of us. I have to confess though that of all the meals I enjoyed on our mission trips one meal from a mission trip to Vermont really sticks out to me and (sorry to those that were on that cooking crew) it was at KFC. When we ate meals at fast food restaurants I handed out the cash to the people in the front of the line and they'd pass the change back to the next person and so on and so on. This is the most efficient way to get meals paid for with a large group. Most of the time I would work my way through the lines replenishing low funds so that we could have everything taken care of quickly. When we were leaving Vermont to come back home on this particular trip we ate lunch at a local KFC. Since we were the only people in line I stood at the front of the line handing out money and collecting change as our team ordered their food. As I stood their God spoke to me as I made a comment to one of our team members when I jokingly said something along the lines of “Here, I’ve got you covered!” Here I was taking care of everything financially for our team and continually handing out what was needed to get us through this situation. God spoke to me reminding me that this is how it is in our relationship with Him.

When we think about our times of suffering, that we all face at one time or another, and then look at our relationship with God, what are we hearing from Him? Is our relationship such that when we face those difficult times that we can’t hear God for all the noise of the storm around us? Or is our relationship with God so tight that the storm can rage all it wants because we can hear that still, small voice in our ear saying “I’ve got you covered.”

God’s Word reminds us repeatedly that no matter what difficulty we face, no matter how bleak the future looks in front of us that God is in control and that He has us covered, no matter what! Psalm 32:6-7 tells us “Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to You while You may be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him. You are my hiding place; You will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.” Let this scripture from Psalms encourage us that no matter how high the waters rise around us we will not be overwhelmed because God is there to provide for us.

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What you don't know about the Bible may hurt you!

Nearly 2 years ago I needed to kill some honeysuckle and poison ivy that had grown up the side of one of our hay sheds. I needed to be about 10 feet up in the air so I could spray weed killer on all of the weeds. So I did like any responsible parent would do. I drove the tractor up to the side of the shed and placed at the controls my son who had been 8 years old for a total of 4 days. I climbed in the bucket, gave him directions on what I needed him to do, and then I stated a variation of a phrase I've used more times than I can count while working with my boys around the farm. I told him "You have to be very careful or I could get hurt or even killed." He did a great job, we got the job done, and we all went home in one piece that day.

Now some would say this was irresponsible, foolish, or down right reckless for me to trust my safety and even my life to the hands of an 8 year old. I would disagree. I have worked with my boys from a young age to teach them how to do things right so they or others won't be hurt. This wasn't the first time Dru operated the tractor and it wasn't the last. I've let him and Cooper drive my farm truck without me in it and 2 round bales of hay in the bed. But I didn't just throw them the keys at 6 and 7 and say "Have at it." I first taught them what they needed to know so they would know how to be safe and not get hurt. Its what they didn't know that could have gotten them hurt.

It's the same way with the Bible. When we don't know what the Bible says it can hurt our relationship with God. God expects us to study the scriptures (2 Timothy 2:15) and then apply them to our life. He wants us to know what it means to pursue holiness in a world ruined by sin. He wants us to trust in Christ not only for salvation but also for support in this life. He wants us to know that His grace is sufficient for anything we will ever face in this life (2 Corinthians 12:9). He wants us to know that He loves us with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). The best way for us to grasp the truths He wants us to take hold of is to spend time in His Word. His Word is living and active as Hebrews 4:12 puts it. That means God will speak to you through His Word but only if you open it up and allow Him to do so. When we don't spend time reading and studying the Bible we are basically telling God that we aren't concerned about our relationship with Him. We're telling Him we don't want to hear from Him. And in the end that will cause us more hurt because we won't know what God is telling us through the Bible. It will lead us into sin and damage our relationship with Him.

My encouragement to you today is this: If you haven't been reading your Bible like you know you should, then start back today. Find a book in the Bible and start reading. The Gospel of John is a great place to start. Ask God to speak to you as you read and you'll be amazed at what He'll say!

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Don't Make New Year's Resolutions!

You read the title right. Don't, I mean don't, make resolutions for the New Year. You might wonder why I'm so adamant about it. The reason is more statistical than anything else. Did you know only 8% of those who make New Year's Resolutions succeed in achieving their resolutions. That means a whopping 92% of those who make New Year's Resolutions fail. That doesn't sound like very good odds to me.

So what should you do if you really want to make changes in the coming year but you don't want to fall victim to the horrible failure rate of New Year's Resolutions? Make a change, not a resolution. A resolution is defined as "an answer or solution to something." If you want to weigh less by the end of the year then your resolution would be to lose weight. But having the answer and accomplishing the goal are two different matters. If you don't make a change in your eating habits and activity level, then your answer is only that, an answer. So if you want things to change in your life then you need to make a change and then stick with it. Set goals and make them achievable. Don't plan to lose 50 pounds by January 15th because we all know that isn't possible. Celebrate as you accomplish milestones along the way. You will be amazed at how small things like that will keep you focused on your goal and motivated to accomplish your goal. If possible partner with others that have the same kind of goal. The accountability and support will only strengthen you for the challenge of accomplishing your goal.

Two things that Christians often "resolve" to do at the beginning of a New Year is to read the Bible more and spend more time in prayer. If those are two of our New Year's Resolutions, then the odds are you won't have a deeper relationship with God come February. Make the necessary changes you need to make in your life to carve out time for prayer and Bible study. If that means waking up earlier, do it. If it means rearranging your schedule, do it. Maybe something you need to do to help you grow spiritually is to get more active in attending services at your church. Only spending an hour on Sunday worshiping God isn't going to bring about the results most people hope for in deepening their relationship with God. Most churches have additional services, Bible studies, classes, small groups and other opportunities for you to grow in your faith. If you want to really make a change in your relationship with God spend more time in prayer, study the Bible more, and get involved in other disciple-making processes your church offers.

Here's to a New Year. I hope you'll make the necessary changes in your life in the coming year that will make you healthier physically and spiritually.

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Get rid of your Elf on the Shelf!

Yes, we are one of those families that participate in the craziness that is the "Elf on the Shelf." At first it was entertaining to see the boys run around the house looking for Randy the Elf. We would even admit that it was entertaining on some weird level to watch the boys freak out when we pretended like we were going to pick Randy up and move him. We have woke up in a panic praying the boys didn't wake up before us all because we forgot to move the elf the night before. And yes, we've been those parents that had to make up some excuse for why the elf didn't move the night before. If we had small kids again, say 2-6 years old, I'd gladly do it all over again just to see the joy in their eyes. But I have to admit that I'm glad my two are aging out of the Elf phase, although I don't believe Misty is as happy as I am. I'm just glad that we will soon be getting rid of our Elf on the Shelf.

For some people they don't need to wait for their kids to grow up to get rid of their elf. They need to do it right now. You heard me right. Some people need to get rid of their elf right now and not use it again. Here's my reasoning on making such a claim. Your elf on the shelf is like most everything else in life, it's a tool to help teach and train your children. If the only use you have for having an elf on the shelf is to get your kids to behave and have some fun during the month of December, then you're missing a great opportunity to teach your kids about the real reason for Christmas. As parents we should take every opportunity we can to point our children towards God (Deuteronomy 6:7). We should use every day opportunities, like riding down the road or sitting down for a meal, to teach them valuable lessons about faith. With Christmas being solely about the birth of Jesus as the Savior of the world, how can we not use a silly game like Elf on the Shelf to point our children towards the true meaning of Christmas. I know some will say you shouldn't mix the secular views of Christmas and the

traditional religious view of Christmas. To them I'd say, "Why not?" How can we not use something that has so captivated the hearts and minds of our children to point out the reason we celebrate Christmas. If we don't use it from time to time to point to Jesus as the focus of Christmas, then we miss a great teaching opportunity. Plus we make the sole focus of Christmas about getting gifts because they've been good. I think the easiest way to put it is this. If you aren't willing to use your elf to lead your kids just a little closer to Christ, then you need to get rid of your Elf on the Shelf.


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Christmas in view of the Cross

My grandmother gave Misty and I a crystal nativity set the year before we were married. Misty has kept it boxed up for 13 years for fear our boys would break it. This year it is displayed on a table in our living room. The other day I started towards bed and noticed something lying on the manger in that crystal nativity set. It was a little cross necklace Cooper had showed me earlier that evening. Before he went to bed, Cooper had laid the cross across the feet of the baby Jesus lying in the manger. I snapped a picture of it and thought to myself how powerful an image this 8 year old had created without even knowing it.

It is amazing to consider Christmas in view of the cross. The thought that this young child we celebrate at Christmas would die a torturous, suffocating death is hard to grasp while singing "Away in a Manger." But we view these events from our limited, finite, and temporal positions. The Advent, or coming, of Christ that we celebrate with hymns, plays, and gift giving was not the start of God's plan of salvation for mankind. His plan didn't even start in the moments after Eve ate the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden. It started in eternity past. That plan always existed in the mind of God because, being omniscient, He knew He would create man and that man would fall into sin and need a savior. Since a savior was needed a child was born in Bethlehem and placed in a manger, some 5 miles from the place where His arms would be stretched out and nailed to a cross 33 years later.

Since Jesus is God we know that He has always known that He would be the sacrifice for mankind. He knew it before mankind was ever created. Can you imagine the thoughts as the divine, all-knowing part of Jesus knew the cross was coming and watched as people were crucified by the Romans? Can you imagine the thoughts as the fleshly, life-saving desires flooded His heart and mind as He grew into adulthood? These thoughts are hard to reconcile with our celebrations of the baby lying in the manger.

When we celebrate Christmas, we are really celebrating the beginning of the end of Christ's life here on earth. I'm not suggesting that Christmas should take on some morbid or somber tone. But the birth of that Child should be celebrated with joy since God loved us so much that He sent His Son to die in our place (John 3:16). But as we celebrate, as we give gifts, and as we sing hymns, we need to remember the price this "Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger" paid for you and I. It should bring all the more joy and peace into our lives as we celebrate the arrival of the One who is called "the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world" (John 1:29, NIV).

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Watch out for the cow pie!

Yesterday afternoon Dru, Cooper, a teenager from church, and myself went to feed our cows. Rather than driving the tractor all over creation we drove to one of our farms and loaded two round bales of hay in my truck and headed to another farm to feed the cows. We pulled into the pasture to pull the hay off the truck and I had pulled up to a most inconvenient spot without knowing it. When the other three started to get out on their side of the truck there was a huge pile of cow manure beside the truck. It didn't help matters any that I had hit it with my truck and made it spread out. They were able to get out of the truck relatively safely. That is until it was Dru's turn to jump over this cow pie. When he jumped out of the open door of the truck he made the mistake of jumping downhill. After landing safely beyond the massive cow pie Dru fell victim to Newton's first law of motion and his momentum caused him to go face first towards the ground...and you guessed it, another cow pie. Dru was fortunate not to get a face full of cow manure (because from my perspective I thought he had). He stood up, dusted himself off, laughed it off, and no one was the wiser as to how close he came to a major disaster!

Our spiritual lives are often the filled with the same type of pitfalls and problems. We try to avoid those problems that seem so huge in front of us and by avoiding that one we end up nearly "eating it" on the next problem that we don't see. We have to be very careful spiritually because those problems, temptations and pitfalls that we face are as common as a cow pie in a cow pasture. For those that have never been on a farm that means you have to watch where you step. Those temptations and problems can be handled carefully if we have guidance from One who can truly help us. God knows the troubles we face in life. He sees the struggles that we have. He is more than willing to help us deal with our problems or help us to avoid them all together. We just have to ask Him to help us and then follow His lead. See, if my sons had told me about the cow pie yesterday, I would have told them the right way to avoid it was to get out of the truck on my side where there wasn't one. All we have to do is seek God's help and follow His directions and He will gladly help His children.

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Should I encourage my child's belief in Santa Claus?

Here is a confession from a grown man, husband, and father of two boys. Are you ready for it? I believe in Santa Claus. There I said it. It feels good to get that off my chest. Want to know why? There are two reasons really. First, we have a saying in my family that has been passed down from my parents (primarily my mom) and that will be passed down to my boys when they are old enough to understand. The saying is "If you don't believe in Santa there won't be any presents at my house on Christmas morning." So when my boys ask me if I believe in Santa, I am quick to tell them of my belief in the jolly old elf. Call me greedy, childish, materialistic, immature, or what have you, but if you ask me if I believe in Santa I'll tell you I believe. Do I think my parents would leave me out of the gift giving if I said I didn't believe? Probably not. But if I ruined the magic of Santa for their grandkids they might! The second reason is because I don't believe there is any harm in it.

Now understand my second reason to be coming from experience rather than education. My training is in business and theology, not in psychology. That being said, I know some people who from their child's earliest years have never encouraged belief in Santa for their own personal reasons. But like most people, I grew up in a house that celebrated Christmas with cookies and milk left for this guy that would come and leave presents in our living room. And like those that grew up in homes where Santa was allowed, I grew up to be a relatively well adjusted adult (no comments please). So what harm is done to us by allowing us to believe in the fanciful? What harm is there to be on the blind side of belief in a man giving gifts, giant rabbits leaving candy, or a fairy that trades money for molars? In this man's opinion absolutely nothing. Psychologically speaking I don't think there is. When was the last time you met someone with real life issues because they believed in Santa as a kid. Theologically speaking I think it can be helpful.

If nothing else I want my boys to grow up and allow their belief in Santa to help them frame their view of their faith in God. I know that is a stretch for some but hear me out. When my boys are older I want them to have as comprehensive a view as possible of their faith in God. I want them to fully realize this idea that God gave us the greatest gift ever on that first Christmas morning, not because He had to, but because He wanted to. There were no strings attached. There was no reason that He had to give us Christ, but He willingly gave Christ to us at His own personal cost. I believe encouraging belief in Santa (a benevolent man, who gives gifts at his own expense, and with no strings attached) will only help my kids more fully understand the true meaning of Christmas and God's gift of salvation through Christ. Call it simple minded. Call it what you will. But that's just the thought of a man who believes in Santa and hopes his kids will always believe as well.