Hmmm...

My wife and I have an interesting little game we like to play. If we're together as a family, watching TV or riding in the car, one of us will make a flirtatious "Hmmm..." sound at the other. The other will respond with the same sound. We will do it back and forth until one of our boys notices. Then they will try their best to interrupt what they see to be mom and dad flirting with each other. But how they interrupt is the amusing part to me and Misty. They will start acting like little mockingbirds making exaggerated "Hmmm..." sounds. When I say exaggerated, I mean Cooper sounds like he's choking on something. Misty and I get a kick out of it because the boys always make us laugh with their "interruptions."

Recently after one of these times playing the "Hmmm..." game, I started to think a little more deeply about what was happening to our kids when we played this game. One thing that is obvious is that our kids are seeing mom and dad "flirting" with each other. As grossed out as they are at the sight of us kissing, what all of this does for them in the long run is far more beneficial than they realize. What it shows them is an example of how they are to treat their future spouses and how they should expect to be treated by those future spouses. What they see is a healthy marriage relationship and hopefully one they will want to imitate. Have our boys seen arguments between Misty and I? Sure. Have we tried to show them how to resolve arguments in a healthy way (Ephesians 4:26-27)? Definitely. But they definitely see much more of the mutual respect and love (Ephesians 5:22-33) that is commanded in the Bible. The other thing I thought about was the fact that our boys were mocking or imitating us. Regardless of what a couple shows outside of the house, their children see it all. They see the good, the bad, and the ugly. And what they see is what they will imitate in their own marriages. If they see dad being abusive or condescending, then they will either act that way towards their wife or allow their husband to treat them that way. If they see mom being non-committal towards dad, home, or family responsibilities, then they will expect the same from their wife or will treat their husbands the same way. When our boys grow up, I hope they copy our actions when it comes to "flirting" with their spouses. I hope they want to continue to date their spouses. Most importantly I want them to treat their spouses with respect and love because they are commanded to do so in the Scriptures and they saw their own parents trying to live that out in their marriage.

I usually try to end my posts with some sort of encouragement and here's today's dose of encouragement. I realize that no one has lived out a perfect marriage in front of their children, myself and Misty included. But what you can do is make a fresh start today. You can start working towards setting an example for your kids that you are proud for them to follow. And what better example to set than one where your kids can tell a noticeable difference between the old way of doing things and the new. Then you can share with them how God is the one who changed you and your marriage.


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