Don't be a Church Baby!

Back some time ago, after dealing with a difficult situation at church, I tried to give my boys some helpful advice for when they are older. As we rode down the road I gave them this sage advice. I told them, "When you grow up don't be a problem for your pastor. Be a help to him." Without missing a beat, Cooper, our wise cracking smart aleck, says "What has [Chairman of Deacons name] done now?" I started laughing and told him I would tell that person because Cooper likes and respects him. Cooper was only joking about our friend but my advice to the boys was no joke. 

The longer I am in ministry the more I see that churches really aren't all that different from each other. They may have a different sign out front and some differences in the way they do things, but for the most part you have the same personalities with different names and faces. One personality that can drain the life out of a pastor, church leadership, and the church is the church baby. I'm not talking about the adorable newborn that is passed around during the service. I'm talking about the grown adult that acts like a baby. Think about how baby's act for a second. They're selfish, wanting their way all the time. If they don't get their way they let everybody know about it! They leave a mess wherever they go. Sometimes its toys, other times its food, and sometimes its remnants of an overflowing smelly diaper. They have to be petted and coddled. You have to make sure you keep them happy or they'll throw a temper tantrum. We've all seen babies in action. They can be holy terrors sometimes. You get the picture, right?

The church is not immune from such "holy terrors." You will find people who do the same thing in the name of "the church" or a particular ministry. They have to have their way all the time. When they don't get their way they let everyone know about it. Everyone from the pastor to the church gossip gets an earful. To avoid a tantrum like this many in the church will seek to coddle the church baby. We give them their proverbial pacifier and hope they calm down. We then look at each other and use everyone's favorite line, "Well, that's just the way so and so is." What we usually find in the wake of the church baby is a mess that no one wants to clean up. We find disunity, hurtful remarks, and other actions that are far from Christ-like. So what do we do?

We treat this grown adult like a grown adult Christian should be treated, with love and grace. That doesn't mean we coddle them and side step the issues. It means we speak plainly and lovingly yet tactfully with them about the issue at hand. If they are not mature enough to see you treating them in a Christ-like way, then you have little hope of them ever being spiritually mature enough to grow from this difficult situation. The best thing for the pastor, church leader, or membership to do is to stand their ground. It's just like dealing with a real baby. If you continue to give in you eventually end up with a spoiled child. Lovingly stand your ground and help this brother or sister in Christ see their need for maturity through your actions.

If you're not a church baby, as a pastor, I thank you. Be a help to your pastor not a drain on his time or energy. If you are a church baby, I say this as lovingly as anyone can, "Grow up." It's not all about you, what you want, or getting your way. Its all about Him, what He wants, and Him getting His way in your life and in the church. 


If you enjoyed today's post be sure to Share it on Facebook and Twitter so others can be encouraged too!