Don't Celebrate Halloween This Year!

When I was growing up, we went trick-or-treating all over the community where I was raised. Our large and extended family would pile into the back of my dad's 1980 Nissan Datsun truck and we would hit every house with a light on. We would make out like bandits, only to get home and have our parents "check out" our candy to make sure it was "safe" to eat. As kids, we always looked forward to dressing up like our favorite superhero or cartoon character and hitting people up for sugary goodness! Not much has changed in the last 30 years when it comes to Halloween. Many kids still dress up in costumes and hit up neighborhoods all across our country. With parents in tow, the kids stop for candy at every house they can visit.

Now I realize there are many people out there who do not celebrate or participate in Halloween. Some do it for religious reasons. Others do it because they don't live in an area conducive to children visiting their home. And yet others may not have relationships with parents of young children and therefore, no visits on Halloween. As we've been discussing Halloween in recent weeks, I've come to the realization that we've been viewing Halloween all wrong. Halloween is not something to be celebrated, but instead it is something to be used.

When I started serving at our new church, we had 3 months until Halloween rolled around. Knowing that many churches plan Trunk-or-Treats or Fall Festivals around the time of Halloween, I started inquiring about our new church's activities surrounding Halloween. Our church, like many will do a Trunk-or-Treat and we do ours on the Sunday night before Halloween. As I looked at the calendar, I noticed that Halloween was on a Wednesday night and since we have services on Wednesday nights, we could expect lower attendance on that night. Those with small children would likely take their kids to get candy. Those with grandchildren or homes frequently visited by kids would likely stay home to dish out candy. So we decided to use Halloween for the benefit of our church.

Halloween is the one time of the year when we invite people to our door or take our children to homes we wouldn't normally visit. In essence, Halloween is the one time a year when the world comes to our door or we go to their door. So why would we miss the opportunity to invite them to church and start to build relationships with them? Last year, my wife and I had some good conversations with folks as we handed out candy in our driveway. We had the chance to meet some neighbors we'd never met before. We even had the chance to invite some to church. As I considered how to use Halloween to the advantage of our church, we decided to cancel services on Halloween. Our plan is not to celebrate Halloween, but instead to use it as an outreach event. We plan to distribute to our church members invites to church that they can drop into a kid's bag while handing out candy. For those taking their kids to get candy, they can hand the invite to folks who hand out candy and invite them to church. We are trying our best to utilize the opportunity the world presents to us so we can invite people to church.

I would encourage you to consider using Halloween as an outreach event for your church rather than simply celebrating it this year. Even if you only make one contact that brings a person to church and ultimately to faith in Jesus Christ, then it was well worth it.


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Tap Dancing on a Land Mine

It is amazing what you hear sometimes when you actually listen to the words of songs. Some of the songs you hear while listening to certain genres of music have nonsensical phrases and words thrown together. The other day I was listening to the radio and they were playing a 30 year old song by the classic rock band Aerosmith. The song, Rag Doll, has a phrase in it that I've heard for years and I've never paid any attention to it. In the song, the phrase "Tap dancing on a land mine" is used as one of the lyrics about halfway through the song. I'm not sure what the idea behind its use in the song is, but we all get the word picture trying to be conveyed here. As the music continued to play the phrase continued to roll around in my head. I couldn't get past the absurd idea of someone literally tap dancing on a land mine. Land mines are designed for one single, solitary use and that is destruction. They are used to kill and maim people during war. Stepping on a land mine will end with horrible consequences. Tap dancing on one is to willfully and joyfully put yourself in a position to be irreversibly injured or killed.

When we look at the world we live in today, you don't have to look too far to see people tap dancing on the land mine of sin. Sin is simply disobedience towards God's commands. Ever since sin was introduced into the world in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3), man has had a natural bend and insatiable desire for sin. We have a strong desire to succumb to sin because of the allure and the way sin can make us feel for a moment. For some people, they have realized the damage sin has done to their life and they've sought to repair the damage through the forgiveness God offers through a relationship with Jesus. This forgiveness doesn't mean they are immune to the temptations of sin, but it does mean they have help for dealing with the temptation. They see sin for what it really is, something vile that only brings them heartache, pain, and separation from God. For others though, they don't see sin for what it really is. They see it as no big deal. They see it as something to be celebrated and even enjoyed. What they don't realize is, they are tap dancing on a spiritual land mine. The sin they so gladly enjoy and celebrate is the very thing that will bring about spiritual destruction for them. God clearly shows through the pages of the Bible that sin spiritually separates us from Him and if we do not rectify this spiritual separation before death, then we will be spiritually separated from Him for eternity. The only way to close this spiritual gap is to believe in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and to seek His forgiveness for your sins. When you do, you get to experience help for this life, forgiveness of your sins, and eternal life in heaven with God when this life is over.

For those of you tap dancing on the land mine of sin and who've never put your faith in Jesus Christ before, I would encourage you to put your faith in Him today. You can learn more about putting your faith in Christ by following this link. For those of you have put your faith in God but find yourself tap dancing on the land mine of sin, I would encourage you to take a step back and evaluate where you find yourself spiritually. Celebrating your sin is making a mockery of the One who died for you and the price He paid for you. You understand your sinfulness in comparison to God's holiness and you know you need to make a change. Repent, seek His forgiveness, and start down a new path with God today.


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We Are Doomed To Repeat History

When I was a teenager, my parents went on a work trip to Puerto Rico. Luckily for us kids, we were old enough to stay at home with a little bit of supervision from an aunt and an uncle. During this trip, which took place in the summer, we regularly pulled food for meals from my parent's upright freezer. During one of the many trips to get food to eat, someone didn't get the freezer door shut all the way. In case you didn't know, summer time heat and an open freezer do not mix. When we discovered the then soft food, it was too late to save any of it. Who left the freezer open is still a hotly debated item between the two of us older siblings, but we'll never know who did it.

Just a few weeks ago, Misty discovered that our upright freezer had not been closed completely after someone opened it. Nothing has changed in 20 years. Hot temperatures and an open freezer still don't mix well. Soft food that should be frozen still cannot be salvaged. And as you can imagine, there was plenty of finger pointing as to who was the real culprit. Our boys have regularly asked to hear stories from our childhoods and I thought I had shared this very important story with them, but obviously I had not. In the words of Yogi Berra, "It's deja vu all over again."

It has been said that "Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it." How many times have we witnessed this through the pages of world history. Time and time again, we see where civilizations, nations, and kingdoms repeat the same mistakes and experience the same results. When it comes to our spiritual walk with Christ, we often find ourselves repeating history. We may find ourselves tempted by a sin that Satan knows is our greatest weakness and it isn't long before we are putting a palm to our forehead while asking, "Will I never learn?" If it is any consolation, you're making the same kind of mistakes people have made for thousands of years. The nation of Israel, as recorded in the Bible, regularly made these same mistakes over and over again. They would have a time of falling away from God, while they chased false gods and idols. Then, after some discipline from God, they would turn back to Him and walk closely with Him. Eventually, they would become complacent in their worship, let down their guard, and start down the slippery slope towards idolatry once again. The Israelites did this with such frequency that their spiritual highs and lows would make the most avid roller coaster rider nauseous. 

So if we find ourselves in this Groundhog Day scenario, how do we break the cycle of mountain top experiences followed by the darkest of valleys? I think the best way to break the cycle is to quit viewing your spiritual walk with Christ as a sprint, but rather as a marathon. Too often people will expect their spiritual growth to be like a 100 meter dash. They expect to see spiritual growth super fast and in just a few days every aspect of their spiritual life is on par with the spirituality of the late Billy Graham. But the reality is, spiritual growth doesn't work that way. To be spiritually strong enough to resist falling into the same temptations over and over again, requires a constant steady growth. It requires daily spending time in prayer. It requires daily spending time studying God's Word. It requires weekly worshiping with fellow believers. It requires a commitment to live out God's commands in your life. Day in and day out. On good days and bad days.

If you want to avoid the nausea-inducing spiritual roller coaster the Israelites were on, and many of us find ourselves on, then change your perspective of your spiritual walk with God. Don't look at it as something you'll do until it doesn't suit you anymore or something that you can accomplish in just a few days. Instead start looking at it as something you are committed to for the long haul. If you do, then you'll be less likely to repeat history.


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My Wife Said She Hated Me

On Saturday Misty and I needed to go do some shopping. The two of us were riding all over the country pricing the item we were looking to buy and had plenty of time to talk. During our ride Misty told me about some counsel she gave to a woman who came to her seeking help for a relationship problem. When asked by the woman if Misty had ever hated me during our 21 plus years together, Misty said, "I told her I hated you 3 times and then told her exactly when those 3 times were." I was a little taken aback by Misty's precise nature regarding her hatred for me. As I fully expected, Misty was more than willing to tell me what those 3 times were. Now in my defense, 2 of those times were not completely my fault. They had to do with emotions that come along when a woman is pregnant and I was the recipient of her hatred. I can handle that blame seeing as how she and I were each partially responsible for her pregnancies. The other time she hated me was shortly after our boys were born and I was a stupid husband. I don't remember the exact event but she did. She told me I had gone to play basketball with some friends that evening and then complained about being tired when I came home. She was also tired after working all day and then feeding, bathing, and caring for 2 kids under a year and a half old. I did stupid stuff like this early in our marriage and I have to own it because it left a mark on her, so much so she remembers her hatred for me in that moment. The remarkable thing is the grace she showed me in all three of those instances, even when I wasn't aware of her feelings or her forgiveness. She said she may have hated me in that moment with "ever cell in her body" but in the next moment she forgave me. We went on to talk about how marriage requires much more grace and forgiveness than it does anything else. 

As I do premarital counseling with couples I always tell them that marriage is God's perfect design for human relationships attempted by imperfect people. This is because we are all sinful, broken people who at times put our own wants, needs, and desires before the wants, needs, and desires of our spouse. Since we are two imperfect people attempting to live life together, marriage will have those times where you may love the person you are married to but you may not like them very much. In those times when anger, frustration, or even hatred creep up in your marriage, remember that grace and forgiveness need to be shared in greater amounts than those feelings that can tear your marriage apart. The bible tells us that forgiveness should be a part of the relationships we have with other people (Matthew 6:14; Luke 17:3). What should remind us to extend forgiveness in our marriage is what Paul writes in Colossians 3:13 (NIV). He wrote, "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." If you are a Christian, then God has forgiven you every wrong you've ever committed against Him. How then can you not be willing to extend forgiveness and grace to your spouse? I believe that grace and forgiveness are the two most valuable commodities in marriage and, unfortunately, they are the things we sometimes seem so unwilling to share. If we want a strong and healthy marriage relationship, then we must be willing to forgive and extend grace to our spouse, even though it will cost us.

Today I would encourage you to start making grace and forgiveness towards your spouse a daily practice. Forgive them of their shortcomings, knowing full well you have your own. Give them grace because the next time they love you but don't like you, you'll want grace from them too. If you do, then you can have a marriage where your spouse can tell you they hated you and your marriage won't be affected by it.

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